My 19 year old just walked into where I was looking at my phone (again) for houses for sale. She sat down and said "Dad, you reek of stress."
Wow. Solid feedback that was not fun. I thought I was hiding it better than that. If she can 'smell' the stress then obviously it's more than I think.
Reek - "to smell strongly and unpleasantly; stink."
I guess I need some more stress-work. So what will I do?
Here's the context:
We are now in the Pocono mountains in an Air BnB that is confirmed until June 30... that's two weeks from today. It's supposed to be relaxing. BUT we haven't found a home yet and when we asked the family last week to ask Jesus if we are to find another short term place the unanimous answer was 'No.' We have three dogs, a truck-load of household items still in transit that is supposed to land somewhere, and a word from God. We also have one daughter working remotely, one supposed to start work in-person 1 July and two kids needing all their details sorted for new college and high school. Overlay that with my business commitments and planning for the next six months...
I already spent at least 30 minutes going over (again) what God had said and that was encouraging... sort of. It feels more like God says "Jump and I will catch you," except you are now free falling and it doesn't look like He has even moved into position.
I have two major temptations:
1. Make it happen - find a house that 'will do' or secure a 3-6 mth rental. Problem is that is going against what we all heard God say. That's called disobedience and I have five other people in this household that won't go with that option.
2. Make it go away - live in denial and avoidance and hide from the pain of the in-between. That's just not going to work when we have a calendar deadline. AND I have five other people in the household that won't go with that option either.
So what do I do?
A) Learn about trust.
Let go my understanding (control). Trust means to cast my cares onto someone or something AND it is not foolish, reckless confidence (Proverbs 14:16 NLT). So it is a partnership, a relationship, an interaction and involves doing my part in the process. What's my part? Ask Holy Spirit and follow your conviction, not your fear.
B) Cry... out for help
Pray Psalm 20 (and the rest of the Psalms!). Listen for your voice in the voice of the Psalms. When it aligns, camp there and listen for what the Lord is saying to you. Write it down. Do it.
What else can we do? 2 Chronicles 20:12 "we don't know what to do but our eyes are on you." This is probably number one in priority.